Abuse by Proxy

I was looking into people that abuse animals when they are really angry with themselves or someone else?????? What do you think? (BUT I got side-tracked and here's some stuffs I found.)

My best friend in elementary school was probably a reverse pscyh victim of abuse as she was abused by many of our school mates. She was blonde, blue eyed, adopted and came from a very rich family. (I remember rescuing her from the crowd many times and we simply went out to the playground and created our own little world of running, skipping, jumping, and laughing. (She is my oldest daughter's god-mother and she is the personality my Deondra Upperbutt Worthington III is based on.) She also gave my friend Cheryl free housing for over a year and a half when Cheryl and her husband went thru bankrupcy.

I was in some form of counciling from the time I was 27 (right around the time my dad had surgery for cancer) till just a few years ago and probably had over 20 shrinks (in one form or the other) I also was in several women's groups.) Out of all the professionals I visited there were 2 that were 'in my eye's worth a shit!

The shrinks at META seemed to be very over-protective of their patients when the PEERS started work with other patients. hmmmmmm, and the peers had to have an SMI diagnoses........ IMAGINE that, someone who lived the deal, eh? hmmmmmmmm

http://www.suite101.com/pages/article_old.cfm/verbal_emotional_abuse/106364

Abuse By Proxy
Mar 1, 2004 - © Sam Vaknin

If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers - in short, third parties - to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.
One form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society, or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.
Abusers often use other people to do their dirty work for them. These - sometimes unwitting - accomplices belong to three groups:
I. The abuser's social milieu
Some offenders - mainly in patriarchal and misogynist societies - co-opt other family members, friends, and colleagues into aiding and abetting their abusive conduct. In extreme cases, the victim is held "hostage" - isolated and with little or no access to funds or transportation. Often, the couple's children are used as bargaining chips or leverage. Ambient abuse by the abuser's clan, kin, kith, and village or neighborhood is rampant.
II. The victim's social milieu
Even the victim's relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. Others rarely have a chance to witness an abusive exchange first hand and at close quarters. In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.
Confronted with this contrast between a polished, self-controlled, and suave abuser and his harried casualties - it is easy to reach the conclusion that the real victim is the abuser, or that both parties abuse each other equally. The prey's acts of self-defense, assertiveness, or insistence on her rights are interpreted as aggression, lability, or a mental health problem.
III. The System
The abuser perverts the system - therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, court-appointed guardians, police officers, and judges. He uses them to pathologize the victim and to separate her from her sources of emotional sustenance - notably, from her children.
Forms of Abuse by Proxy
Socially isolating and excluding the victim by discrediting her through a campaign of malicious rumors.
The copyright of the article Abuse By Proxy in Verbal/Emotional Abuse is owned by Sam Vaknin. Permission to republish Abuse By Proxy in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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Depression and Child Abuse
From: DrHolly
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To: ALL Posted: Jan-19 10:32 AM (1 of 8)
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Child abuse is a heartbreaking reality in our country, but new research has shown that the effects can reverberate through adulthood. In my column this week, I discuss this research, and its disturbing finding -- that abused children are 65 percent more likely than others to develop depression as adults.

Talk to your doctor about your depression or find a local therapist who focuses on adults with depression. You can also check out the resources for adult survivors of child abuse on the Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Were you abused as a child? What impact, if any, has it had on your adult life? Are you doing OK, or have you experienced depression? Share your stories of survival and your tips for keeping children safe.

Dr. Holly